Thursday, 24 May 2018

My Top Ten Car Theft Songs

Car theft is no laughing matter, as anyone who's ever had their car stolen will tell you. Doesn't stop people writing songs about it though...

Here's ten of the best.

10. Babybird - Too Handsome To Be Homeless

We are not cool
We are not crazy
We steal cars
Because we're lazy

Well, that's one explanation.

9. Alice Cooper - Steal That Car

Vincent, on the other hand, just has no shame.

It just ain't fair I was put in that position
Somebody left their keys in the ignition
I saw the unlocked door and made my decision
I just can't help myself

8. Teenage Fanclub - Don't Look Back

Could there possibly be a sweeter lyric about car theft than this?
I'd steal a car to drive you home

7. Kirsty MacColl - Bad

I want a brief encounter in a stolen car
A hand on my buttock in a Spanish bar

We need more pop songs that feature the word "buttock". I'm tempted to compile a Top Ten.

6. Big Star - In The Street
Steal your car, and bring it down
Pick me up, we'll drive around
Wish we had
A joint so bad

They don't write 'em like that anymore.

Don't drive stoned, kids.

5. Elvis Presley - In The Ghetto

He buys a gun
Steals a car
Tries to run
But he don't get far...

...and the hearts of a million Elvis fans crack open.

Or, if you prefer, try Blue Suede Shoes...

Well, you can burn my house
Steal my car
Drink my liquor
From an old fruit jar
Well do anything that you want to do
But uh-uh, honey lay off of my shoes!

4. Beth Orton - Stolen Car

Forgotten how good this was. For a while there, Beth was the natural heir to Joni's crown.

One drink too many and a joke gone too far
I see a face drive like a stolen car
Gets harder to hide when you're hitching a ride
Harder to hide what you really saw

3. Bruce Springsteen - Stolen Car

Regular readers might have exected this to be Number One. So did I. Then I remembered the two songs below. Still, this is bloody marvellous. Question though, Bruce fans... do you prefer the album version above... or the piano-heavy re-interpretation / original from Tracks? I'm torn. I reckon that version actually sounds more like Bruce, whereas the version included on The River is Bruce doing Dylan.
And I'm driving a stolen car
Down on Eldridge Avenue
Each night I wait to get caught
But I never do...

Got to recommend the Patty Griffin version too.

2. Pulp - Joyriders

For the second time this week, Jarvis almost makes it to Number One... story of his life, I guess, considering Common People may well be the best Number Two ever. This song  is perfection: makes you wonder what could be better, doesn't it?

We can't help it, we're so thick we can't think,
Can't think of anything but shit, sleep and drink.
Oh, and we like women;
"Up the women" we say,
And if we get lucky,
We might even meet some one day.
Mister, we just want your car,
'Cause we're taking a girl to the reservoir.
Oh, all the papers say,
It's a tragedy, but don't you want to come and see?

(Oh, and I'm very sorry, but I just couldn't find room for Roxette's Joyride. I know you were expecting it!)

1. Billy Bragg & Johnny Marr - Greetings To The New Brunette

Shirley stole today's top prize - Billy and Johnny were so good together, it makes you wonder if they'd have lasted longer and been even more cherished than Johnny and that other bloke. If only they'd made more music together...

The people from your church agree
It's not much of a career
Trying the handles of parked cars
Whoops - there goes another year!
Whoops - there goes another pint of beer!
Here we are in our summer years
Living on ice cream and chocolates kisses
Would the leaves fall from the trees
If I was your old man
And you was my missus?

What's in the tape deck of your stolen car?

Wednesday, 23 May 2018

Radio Songs #36: Talk Radio

Pictured above is the actor Eric Bogosian who wrote and starred in the Oliver Stone movie Talk Radio. It was partly inspired by the life and death of DJ / talk show host Alan Berg who was killed in the early 80s because white supremacists didn't like his show.

I worked with two main presenters (and a variety of fill-in dudes) during the ten plus years I "produced" the late night radio phone-in. Both had very different styles, but each soon realised that in order to get people to call in night after night, you had to occasionally play devil's advocate and court a bit of controversy. And as a result, for every listener who loves your show, you'll find one who hates it. But sometimes the ones who hate it - if they can be persuaded to call up - can make the most interesting radio. Listening to people agreeing with each other on a variety of subjects night after night soon becomes boring. The best thing of all though is if you can get someone else to do the controversy for you. Let someone with truly outrageous views (listeners will always be more outrageous than any presenter is allowed to be) vent for a while... then watch the switchboard light up and you've got a call log that'll last you till the end of the show.

However, there are certain subjects which are talk show poison. Everyone has an opinion on them and loads of people will call in... but everybody says the same thing and from a listener's perspective it becomes very dull very quickly. (Good radio hosts quickly understand the balancing act between what active callers want to talk about and what passive listeners want to hear.)

Chief poison is dog poo.

Dog poo on the pavements. Dog poo in the park. Dog poo on the bottom of your shoes.

If ever you hear a local radio phone-in where they've resorted to talking about this, I can guarantee you two things:

1. The presenter really doesn't want to be talking about it: they know how boring it is.

2. Nothing else they've tried that night has caught on, so dog poo is desperation.

As a "producer" (I put the term in rabbit ears because I never thought of myself as such and was rarely ever called it: "phone-op" was far more common), your job is simple: keep the calls lined up. One on air, one on hold, a third in reserve just in case either of the first two disappear or say something that gets them cut off. On quiet nights though, you just pray for a call. Any call. You daren't leave the switchboard to grab a coffee or take a toilet break. Not until you have a couple in reserve. And when the switchboard flashes green, you jump on it...

"Hello - the $*£&% phone-in. What would you like to talk about?"

"Dog poo on the streets."

The presenter (who at this point has been talking for ten minutes without a break, desperately trying every trick in their arsenal to drum up calls) then gives you a look of relief tinged with gratitude, a look that also says: "At last! Get them on air NOW!" And you have to break the news to them that... yes, you can have them if you want... but I don't think you're gonna want them.

Still, at least after that you'll have calls for the next hour or so...

(Oh, in case you're wondering, nobody assassinated either of the presenters I worked with. There was the odd psycho and occasional stalker though. We'll get to them.)

36. The Dandy Warhols - Talk Radio

I reckon I have quite a few posts about working on the phone-in (even more if I can find the notebook I kept at the time) but I might spread them out a bit to stop them getting too boring. Believe me, I'm no advocate for talk radio. Like most things I was involved in during my time in radio, I can see how - done well - it can be entertaining... but in the end, I grew to hate it. Kinda like the Dandy Warhols obviously do. Watch this video if you want to see how it affects the minds of impressionable listeners...

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Hot 100 Countdown #83

Great 83 songs were thin on the ground, and about the only one I could find in my own record collection was this...

John Mayer - 83

I did quite like that back in 2001 - enough to swipe it from the chuck-out box, anyway - but listening back it all seems very polished and I don't particularly take to Mayer's voice anymore. Plus, Mayer appears to be a bit of a dick, having given some supremely dodgy interviews in his day. And obviously, I will not stand behind any artist who says stupid, inflammatory things in interviews.

The Swede dropped by to offer Magdalena 83 by Alan Vega - which I'm sure is pretty good since I do like a bit of Suicide every now and then... but as I couldn't find it anywhere on t'internet, and it doesn't (yet) feature in my record collection, I had to give it a pass.

Martin suggested Wafia - 83 Days, which to be fair he caveated with "don't like very much" (alongside John Mayer... which made me question the darker crevices of Martin's record collection as much as I sometimes do my own) but then he redeemed himself slightly by offering Major Tom (Coming Home) by German Bowie obsessive Peter Schilling. That doesn't actually mention 83 at all in title or lyrics, but Martin offered the following defence: "(a) it was used as the theme for the excellent Deutschland 83 and (b) is actually quite good", which would generally be enough for me... although I haven't seen the show myself.

The only other song I'm aware of with 83 in the title comes from the soundtrack of Flashdance... but it's hardly What A Feeling!

Irene Cara - Romance '83

All of which led me to search for lyrical references to the number 83, most of which revolved around the year... but rules are meant to be broken in times of desperation. So, here's My Top Ten 83 Songs... leading up to this week's winner:

10. Over The Rhine - Ohio

It was summertime in '83
We were burnin' out at the rubber tree
Wonderin' what in the world
Would make all this worthwhile
And if I knew then I was older then
Would I see regret to the last mile?

9. Ace Frehley & Frehley´s Comet - Rock Soldiers

They don't make 'em this Ace anymore.

It was back in the summer of '83
There's a reason I remember it well
I was slipping and sliding, drinkin' and drivin'
Bringin' me closer to Hell
And the Devil sat in the passenger's side
Of Delorean's automobile
He said, "Hey Frehley, Frehley let's not be silly
There's a life out there to steal!"

8. Hefner - Lee Remick

(Not the Go-Betweens song... in case you were wondering.)

I think it was in '83 my father left the family
But came back three weeks later
For a love both firm and stable

7. Marah - The Catfisherman
I got a couple of rods; they got tape where they broke
I got a bobber, some sinkers and two packs of smokes
I got the sun goin' down and the moon comin' out
And it's 83 degrees and I'm pissin' in the river

6. REM & Patti Smith - E-Bow The Letter

Will you live to 83?
Will you ever welcome me?
Will you show me something that nobody else has seen?

5. Guy Clark - A Nickel For The Fiddler

Well, it's a fiddler from Kentucky
Who swears he's 83
And he's fiddled every contest
From here to Cripple Creek
And it's old ones and it's young ones
And it's plain they half agreed
That it's country music in the park
As far as they can see

4. Dexys Midnight Runners - I Love You (Listen To This)

You were standing next to me,
In '82 and '83,
In all that time I barely proved I love you
Well there's nothing wrong but the wrong in me
You were everything you were meant to be

3. Drive-By Truckers - A World Of Hurt

And my good friend Paul was 83
When he told me that, "To love is to feel pain"
I thought about that a lot back then
I think about that again and again

2. Pulp - Last Days Of The Miner's Strike

Well my body sank below the ground
It became as black as night,
Overhead the sounds of horses hooves,
People fighting for their lives.
Some joker in a headband was still
Getting chicks for free.
And Big Brother was still watching you
Back in the days of '83.

1. Amy Rigby - The Summer of My Wasted Youth

Summertime in '83
I didn't need a j-o-b
Cause unemployment kept me free
To study country harmony
And find somebody with a car
Drink cheap beer in the Polish bar
Take photos in the photo booth
The summer of my wasted youth

So, lyrics will be allowed for 82... as will years. Unless you have an amazing title suggestion. These are the toughest numbers. They will get easier.

Monday, 21 May 2018

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #26: I'm The Same Age That My Father Was...

...When I First Thought He Was Old.

I owe this particular Mid-Life Crisis tune to Rigid Digit, who recently recommended the album it hails from (along with 9 far more familiar offerings) as one if his Top Ten Albums, calling it "a bible for the Grumpy Middle Aged Man". Well, obviously I had to investigate immediately... and I'm glad I did. Suffice it to sat I'll definitely be returning later to nominate the former Christians frontman for a Grumpy Old Man post of his own, but in the meantime this particular tunes hits the old Mid-Life Crisis right where it hurts.

As mentioned here quite recently, I was 42 when I became a father... the same age my dad was when I was born. I'm not sure when I realised that my parents were older than most of my friends' mums and dads, but it did hit me when I was quite young and I remember sobbing at the thought of losing them because "they are so old". I consider myself blessed to have reached the age I am now and still have both of them around to enjoy their final grandchild. But the clock is ticking... for all of us.

Make the most of what time you have...

26. Henry Priestman - Old

I don't want to work my fingers to the bone
Me, I'd rather drink wine with you back at home
I don't want to think about what car the neighbours bought
I'm happy just to sit here laughin' on the porch
And I don't really care what they got over there

I tried to run a mile today, I maybe should have walked
My head had the ambition but my body was all talk
And while I'm trying to make some sense of it, the laughter takes a hold
I'm the same age that my father was when I first thought he was old

Sunday, 20 May 2018

Saturday Snapshots #33 - The Answers

I wouldn't normally post a picture of a young lady in the bath, but given she's the answer to one of this week's questions and she appears to have taken the photo herself, I thought it would be allowed. Sharp-eyed readers (i.e. those of you who don't just come here on a Saturday and/or Sunday) will have noticed that she's already featured on this blog earlier this week anyway. But Snapshots are prepared well in advance of regular postings for reasons too mundane to explain.

For balance, if you want to send me a photo of your favourite male pop star in the bath holding a camera, I'll be sure to feature that some time in the future. As long as it's not Bono.

Anyway, it was pretty much a three horse race this week, with a returning George first out of the raps, followed swiftly by Rigid Digit and Martin, with Lynchie getting half a point to keep him happy. Even though Martin got more correct answers, I'm going to - somewhat controversially - award the crown to George this week because he went above and beyond the call of duty in trying to explain (at least half of) my convoluted clue to #1. And the referee's decision is final...

10. Escape with this Rat Pack sibling.

The Rat Pack did swing music. See?

Swing Out Sister - Breakout

9. The Admiral invites some mates round for a barbecue.

Admiral Nelson.

Ricky Nelson - Garden Party

8. Passing rigs steal Belinda Carlisle's shoes...

Belinda was in the Go-Gos.

Drive-By Truckers - Go Go Boots 

7. I dream of the life of a school governor in Mockingbird county.

I Dream Of Jeannie.

The Life of Riley.

Harper Lee wrote To Kill A Mockingbird.

Jeannie C. Riley - Harper Valley PTA

6. Teenage party game played with a bowler in the pasture.

Bowler hat in a field.

Juliana Hatfield Three - Spin The Bottle

5. Farrell & Firth are professional bigamists. A new paint job is required!

Colin Farrell & Colin Firth are Professionals... ProCol. Important that you spell this band's name correctly to get that clue.

Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade of Pale

4. The beauties enjoy a citrus squeeze.

LaBelle - Lady Marmalade

3. Two mules for sister Stewart! Where Chris, Cliff and Neil went.

Where Chris, Cliff and Neil went.

Where Chris, Cliff and Neil went.

Two Mules For Sister Sarah.

Muffin was a mule.

Martha Stewart.

Chris Rea, Cliff Richard & Neil Young all sang On The Beach.

Is there an echo in here?

Martha & The Muffins - Echo Beach

2. Traffic report: I've been waiting for this for ages!

Delays - Long Time Coming

1. Buck Rogers teleports into Michael's disturbing house to find Billy refusing to let his T-shirt be filmed. (Most convoluted clue ever: extra marks if you can explain it all. Or any of it.)

Buck Rogers was played by Gil Gerard.

Mr. Scott worked the teleporter on the starship Enterprise.

REM (and Michael Stipe) sang about a Disturbance At The Heron House.

Billy Bragg sang that "the revolution is just a T-shirt away". (I own that T-shirt.)

The revolution will not go better with Coke
The revolution will not fight the germs that cause bad breath
The revolution WILL put you in the driver's seat
The revolution will not be televised

But Saturday Snapshots will be back next week.

Saturday, 19 May 2018

Saturday Snapshots #33

It's Saturday again - c'est la vie. If you've got no particular place to go this morning, then try these - identify ten great songs and ten cool artists from the clues below.

10. Escape with this Rat Pack sibling.

9. The Admiral invites some mates round for a barbecue.

8. Passing rigs steal Belinda Carlisle's shoes...

7. I dream of the life of a school governor in Mockingbird county.

6. Teenage party game played with a bowler in the pasture.

5. Farrell & Firth are professional bigamists. A new paint job is required!

4. The beauties enjoy a citrus squeeze.

3. Two mules for sister Stewart! Where Chris, Cliff and Neil went.

Where Chris, Cliff and Neil went.

Where Chris, Cliff and Neil went.

2. Traffic report: I've been waiting for this for ages!

1. Buck Rogers teleports into Michael's disturbing house to find Billy refusing to let his T-shirt be filmed. (Most convoluted clue ever: extra marks if you can explain it all. Or any of it.)

Answers tomorrow. B. Goode till then.

Friday, 18 May 2018

Talky Songs #1: Belong

Just in case you're one of those people who lie awake at night worrying about the number of ongoing and unfinished series this blog has running, let me reassure you that I haven't forgotten any of them. I have an idea who the next entry for Yesterday's Big Thing will be about; I've not thought about Songs I Hated When I Was A Kid in ages but I'm sure there's a couple more out there; I still haven't revealed the most shocking of my Songs I Bought Because I Fancied The Singer; and yes, I've only managed the grand total of one post so far in my Anyone Can't Play Guitar series, but there has to at least be a post about Richard Thompson coming up, even if I quit that series then. They'll all be back when you least expect them, but as I never force a post and only write about things when the mood hits me...'s another new series. There are loads of these too, so potentially it could run and run. Or I might get bored with it after today. We'll see.

I do like it when singers stop singing for a bit and just talk to us. So I decided to do a series focussing on my favourite songs that feature far more talking than singing. There might be little bits of singing in them, but there's usually far more mumbling.

1. REM - Belong

Possibly the first REM song I truly fell in love with, and the very best song on their breakthrough album, Out Of Time... even though the rest are very nice too. (Yes, even Shiny Happy People. Don't be a snob. It's got Kate Pierson on it: how can you hate it?)

It's a song that starts out with a story: "Her world collapsed early Sunday morning" is arguably the best opening line Michael Stipe ever wrote. But then it gets weird and spooky. What are the "creatures that jumped the barricades and headed for the sea" and why did they make her world collapse? Are they coming for her? Can she protect her child? Why is it so important to Belong? Why does she open that window at the end...?

There may be answers to those questions if I google them, but to be honest I don't want to. The song evokes so many potential stories, I don't want to be limited by someone else's interpretation - not even Michael Stipe's.

Thursday, 17 May 2018

My Top Ten Karaoke Songs

I've never done karaoke. Not because of any muso-snobbery on my part, merely because I guess I hang out with people who wouldn't be seen dead in a karaoke contest. The frustrated pop star in me regrets this quite a lot. Maybe I ought to start a sad, middle-aged bucket-list and put karaoke at the top of the list, rather than sky diving or bungee jumping.

Anyway, here's ten songs about singing someone else's songs badly over a tinny backing track...

10. Maxïmo Park - Karaoke Plays

Someone gets run down
Karaoke plays somewhere in the background,
But there is no explanation
What makes a grown man cry?
Karaoke plays and someone gets run down

That's probably pretty deep if you think about it.

9. Tom McRae - Karaoke Soul

This guy was on the verge of making it big back in the early 00s. Not sure why he didn't.

8. Kate Nash - Karaoke Kiss

I got a renewed respect for Kate Nash following her performance in the Netflix show GLOW, so I was pleased to see she had a new record out. This is a pretty fine cut from that...

7. The Haywains - Kill Karaoke

I owe Brian a big thank you for introducing me to this lot.

6. Catatonia - Karaoke Queen

Whenever I listen to old Catatonia songs, I lament the fact that Cerys packed in the day job.

5. Jimmy Buffet & Toby Keith - Too Drunk To Karaoke

The very definition of a marmite song, depending entirely on whether you consider Jimmy Buffet a loveable old doofus... or just a doofus.

4. Bennet - Karaoke / Younger Younger 28's - Karaoke Queen / Speedy - Karaoke King

Three long-forgotten Britpop and post-Britpop bands for the price of one: all of them far more interesting than Oasis. Particularly Younger Younger 28's - why weren't they massive? All worth a listen if you dig that era.

3. Ben Folds - Hiro's Song

I wanna explode in
A karaoke supernova... much more interesting than a champagne one.

2. Elbow - Grounds For Divorce

Any excuse to play this, Elbow's rockiest moment... with a Costello-esque venom to the lyrics.

There's this whispering of jokers doing flesh by the pound
To a chorus of supposes from the little town whores
There'll be twisted karaoke at the Aniseed Lounge
And I'll bring you further roses
But it does you no good
And it does me no good
And it does you no good

1. Blur - The Universal

Gonna have to give the crown to Blur, for probably their finest hour after Song 2 (and certainly their most optimistic)... even though they disgraced themselves somewhat by letting it be used in a British Gas ad campaign. Surely you didn't need the money that much, Damon?

Every night we're gone
And to karaoke songs
How we like to sing a long
Although the words are wrong
It really, really, really could happen
Yes, it really, really, really could happen
When the days they seem to fall through you, well just let them go

Never really thought the Clockwork Orange video did the song justice, but here it is anyway...

Ever done karaoke? What did you sing?

Wednesday, 16 May 2018

2018 Contenders: Hopelessly Devoted To Juliana

Sometimes I think there is an evil genius sitting in a dingy lair somewhere deep in a volcano coming up with Machiavellian plots to get me to part with even more of my hard-earned cash on records than I do already.

Case in point: Juliana Hatfield Sings Olivia Newton John. I mean, to be fair, I pretty much buy anything Juliana Hatfield puts out anyway, but when she confessed to being a huge ONJ fan as a teenager and decided to record an entire album of covers... well, I think my heart may have skipped more than one beat.

The great thing is, she's not mucked about with these songs too much. Her voice is obviously a bit more indie than ONJ's, and she's turned up the guitar a little as you'd expect, but otherwise these are pretty faithful renditions. And yes, she's done Xanadu, Hopelessly Devoted and even Physical! Probably a good thing she didn't wear a leotard for the video... it'd be more than a 46 year old man's heart could stand.

The only disappointment is that she didn't do a cover of Summer Nights or You're The One That I Want with Evan Dando... but I wouldn't be surprised if the Grease people didn't allow here the rights.

Hear the full album at Bandcamp if you're so inclined. One dollar from the sale of every album will be donated to the Olivia Newton-John Cancer Wellness & Research Centre (ONJ Centre), a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing patients with cancer access to leading medical treatment, breakthrough research, and the best in wellness and supportive care.

I'm patiently awaiting the Ben Folds Sings Barry Manilow LP... do you hear that, evil genius?

Tuesday, 15 May 2018

Hot 100 Countdown #84

It took you quite a while to work out #84 on my countdown, even though I gave you a pretty big clue that the song had featured here quite recently. Luckily, C has a better memory than most, but first a few runners-up, starting with the Orwellian ones...

Charity Chic suggested...

Eurythmics - Sexcrime (Nineteen Eighty-Four)

The Swede offered...

David Bowie - 1984

C gave us...

Spirit - 1984

Sadly, nobody suggested...

Van Halen - 1984 (from the album of the same name... though to be fair, it is just a glorified introduction to Jump)

Alyson, meanwhile, ditched Orwell and came up with a perfectly decent offering I'd never heard before...

The Strypes - 84

Rigid Digit, on the other hand, offered a Simple Minds album that he might also be thinking of suggesting for the next three weeks. Let me save him the effort... no, thanks, RD.

All of which leaves us with this, which C remembered from back in November...

83? Your guess may be better than mine...

Monday, 14 May 2018

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #25: "A one night rebellion that ends up just being a drag"

Here's a proper mid-life crisis song for you: existential angst at its best, courtesy of the late, lamented (they broke up a couple of years ago after 22 years of thoughtful indie-Americana) Richmond Fontaine. Brace yourself...

For once I didn’t go home after shift
I called my wife and said I’d be late
Every day it gets harder to go home
I rode with a guy from work named Ronnie
I'd never been to his house before
His wife was high, on the couch watching TV
Their kids were fighting in the yard so we got out of there
We drove to a strip bar called Mary’s but the girls there are so young
And who am I? Just a middle aged man, I’m who they hate
Ronnie went to the front and sat at the line so I left him there
I bought a bottle and I didn’t call home, I didn’t go home

A night in the city
The city at night

I got sick behind a car, slept against a bank wall
Ate at Annie’s Donuts and made it to work on time
Is this all there is? Is this what life is?
A job that means nothing
A woman who sleeps right next you but she ain’t yours at all
A one night rebellion that ends up just being a drag
Like a weight around your feet that ain’t heavy enough to send you down
I remember in the back of a bar called the Blue Sea
My wife sitting on my lap whispering, “You and me, only you and me”

A night in the city
The city at night

Sunday, 13 May 2018

Saturday Snapshots #32 - The Answers

Summertime and the living is easy. Perhaps not as easy as you lot keep proving the answers to Saturday Snapshots to be...

I think Rigid Digit took it again this week. I tried to mix it up a bit by changing the start time. Maybe next week I'll start it at 5am and see who's up then (Brian?). Well done to the rest of you who worked hard on the rest though - the winner isn't always the one who gets up first and nabs the easy ones. The true winners are the ones who work at hard the tougher ones... sometimes discovering answers involving bands you've never heard of (so top marks to Alyson for #6).

I guess I shouldn't be surprised by how many Captain & Tennille fans there are reading this blog. Or maybe just people who once they've seen The Captain... have had many, many sleepless nights as a result.

10. Young Strummer wasn't a pretty boy - and he didn't think much of you either.

Joe must have been an ugly kid?

Ugly Kid Joe - (I Hate) Everything About You

9. Muse over these siblings - their affection spills out.

Matt Bellamy is the lead singer of Muse.

The Bellamy Brothers - Let Your Love Flow

8. Followers of Paul and Jimmy are seemingly zero.

Paul Young and Jimmy Young.

The Young Disciples - Apparently Nothin'

7. She's electric - a faux murder mixes with no mutants.

Hole guitarist goes solo... and sounds better for it.

"a faux murder" is an anagram of her surname... minus the X (for mutants).

Melissa Auf der Maur - Lightning Is My Girl

6. Father John takes Pee Wee's place to date a lady plasterer cum brain surgeon.

Father John = Misty.

Pee Wee went on a Big Adventure.

Misty's Big Adventure - She Fills The Spaces In My Mind

5. Steve Rogers unites with Young, Diamond, Tennant, Hannon, Finn, Armstrong, Gaiman, Kinnock, Patrick-Harris and Sedaka. Again!

Steve Rogers is Captain America.

Those are ten Neils.

If you think that picture's scary... watch the video!

The Captain & Tennille - Do That To Me One More Time

4. A ceramic dick.

Some clues write themselves.

Moby - Porcelain

3. A bunch of hairdressers will murder me this evening.

Cutting Crew - I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight

2. Can you eat a huge apple in 60 seconds at the Regatta, boss?

Don is the mafia boss.

Henley Regetta.

New York is the Big Apple.

Don Henley - New York Minute

(Look, Boys of Summer would have been too easy.)

1. Is this Morrissey's moggy? If so, I'll shoot it.

Cat? Steven's! I'm gonna get me a gun...

Why doesn't this ever get played on the radio anymore? It's much better than Father & Son...

More next week... unless The Captain has come for his revenge.

Saturday, 12 May 2018

Saturday Snapshots #32

If you're one of those people who thinks that life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone... then Saturday Snapshots is here to put a little thrill back into your Saturday morning.

Identify ten artists and songs from the clues below, please...

10. Young Strummer wasn't a pretty boy - and he didn't think much of you either.

9. Muse over these siblings - their affection spills out.

8. Followers of Paul and Jimmy are seemingly zero.

7. She's electric - a faux murder mixes with no mutants.

6. Father John takes Pee Wee's place to date a lady plasterer cum brain surgeon.

5. Steve Rogers unites with Young, Diamond, Tennant, Hannon, Finn, Armstrong, Gaiman, Kinnock, Patrick-Harris and Sedaka. Again!

4. A ceramic dick.

3. A bunch of hairdressers will murder me this evening.

2. Can you eat a huge apple in 60 seconds at the Regatta, boss?

1. Is this Morrissey's moggy? If so, I'll shoot it.

Answers as soon as I've finished suckin' on chilli dog outside the Tastee Freez. Or tomorrow morning.

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